Don't Die
by The Omnivores Dilemma
Summary: After ToS. Slightly angsty Lloyd wonders about Kratos. Lloyd and Zelos have a conversation about Kratos. Lloyd says something he probably shouldn't have said, and Zelos is butthurt. Not in the least bit yaoi. Rating just in case. Spoilers, darnit.


I recently beat the game for the 243793874569283746th time, so I'm in one of those "NOOOOO KRATTY DON'T LEAVE US WE LOVE YOUUUU"-moods. So... I decided to make a fic kind of based on that. To me, the beginning is kind of irksome, but nothing can be perfect I guess. The ending's kinda cheesy, but oh well. Cheesy is (usually) good. Especially on pizza.

* * *

"...Don't die before I do, Lloyd... my son..."

The words persistently echoed through his mind, despite the fact that they had been spoken to him hours ago. Those were the last words his father, Kratos Aurion, had spoken to him. Kratos, with the aid of Lloyd and the Eternal Sword, went to the angel-inhabited mana planet, Derris-Kharlan. He planned to destroy the exspheres on the planet, and ultimately right the wrongs he'd done in the past 4,000 years. Lloyd planned on collecting and destroying the exspheres on the reunited worlds.

Lloyd sighed inwardly, and shifted to his back in the bed he lay in. They – as in Lloyd, Genis, Colette, Raine, Sheena, Presea, Regal, and Zelos – were all staying together one more night, before they set off on their separate paths in the reunited world. Zelos had offered to let everyone stay the night at his place, and none had declined the offer. At the moment, all but Lloyd were downstairs, celebrating the reunification of the two worlds. Everyone was surprised when Lloyd had announced he was going to bed early, and all showed concern (some more than others) for his potentially uneasy mind. After much persuading that he was _completely _fine but just tired, they had reluctantly let him to go to bed.

But he was far from being fine. Despite the fact that the worlds were finally united, despite the fact that people who were like Colette or Zelos wouldn't have to sacrifice their lives anymore, despite the fact that no one would have to suffer anymore... there was still one that that wasn't right with the world. Namely:

"...Don't die before I do, Lloyd... my son..."

Was it right to let Kratos leave so soon? Couldn't Kratos have stayed a day, a week, a month... a year? Didn't he want to get to know his own son?

Lloyd heard a knock at the door. Upon hearing this, he assumed it was either Colette, Genis, or the Professor to check up on him. He quickly pulled up the covers and closed his eyes, so whoever it was wouldn't stay too long. This was one of those rare occasions where he wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

Instead of slowly and cautiously opening the door so they wouldn't wake the allegedly sleeping Lloyd, the person rather noisily opened the door and clamorously walked right into the room. After about five seconds, the person spoke, in the voice of Zelos:

"Lloyd, dude... Don't even pretend you're sleeping. I haven't known you for half as long as some of the others, but the day you go to sleep before even eating supper..."

That did the trick. Lloyd sat up, and glared at Zelos. "What do you want?"

"Hey, don't look at me like that. Geez, on second thought, no. I'm not even gonna offer you some leftovers from supper." Zelos turned around, and started to leave.

"Zelos, I'm not hungry."

Zelos turned back around, happy that Lloyd wasn't talking to him in an irritable manner anymore. "What? But you're always hungry! Unless... oh!" Zelos smirked. "I know what this is about."

"Really? What?"

"You miss that bastard. Kratos."

"I-"

"I guess I can't really blame you for that, since he _is _your old man and all." Zelos crossed his arms and nodded at his own logic.

"It's not just that! It's just that... I'm trying to figure out why he... did the stuff that he did."

"'Did the stuff he did'? What do you mean, why he left you? I'll tell you why, he's a son of a bi-"

"Shut up and listen for a second! I just want to know why he didn't just tell me sooner."

"That you're his son?" Zelos asked, and Lloyd nodded. "Yeah, okay... but if he'd told you that you were his son like, a week after you'd met, would you have believed him?"

"Well... no," Lloyd admitted.

"See? There. Now, are there any other more little insecurities in your head that I can put aside?"

"Yeah. Like..." Lloyd paused. "Why couldn't Kratos have stayed longer?"

"I sure as hell don't know the guy as well as you do, but he seems like the type of guy that when he wants something done, it's done _now_, and no bullshit."

"But... didn't he want to get to know me better?"

"He knew you pretty well," Zelos said, and sat down in the bed beside Lloyd. "He knew you for the first few years of your life, when you tried to regenerate the world with Colette, the Professor and the brat, and for that short time after you found out he was your dad."

"Fine, he knew me. I guess. Then, what about the whole thing where he doesn't want me to die before he does? What the hell is that supposed to mean? How can I try to not die before him if I don't even know when he's going to die?"

Zelos thought for a moment, then spoke. He chose his words very carefully. "The guy's had enough people die in his life, he doesn't need to go through that again. He just wants you to live a long, happy life. You almost done?

"No. What would have happened if he wouldn't have ever been involved with Cruxis at a-?"

Zelos cut Lloyd's sentence with his answer. "You probably wouldn't exist."

"...Okay. What if Mom wasn't in the Angelus Project?"

"Your parents probably never would have met, which means you wouldn't exist."

Lloyd took a moment to remember another one of the questions that had previously been plaguing his mind. "Um... What's Kratos going to do after he's done with the exspheres on Derris-Kharlan?"

"Kill himself, probably," Zelos said, smirking slightly at Lloyd's glare, but nevertheless acting offended. "_What? _I speak the truth! Whaddaya want me to say, he's going to get drunk and party with the angels?"

"...Whatever." Lloyd frowned at the thought of Kratos dying. But, he decided to not provoke Zelos for much longer in case he had any more bizarre yet slightly disturbing images of Kratos to share. "Okay, this is the last one. Why couldn't I have just gone to Derris-Kharlan with him, and then when we were done with the exspheres, just teleport back with the Eternal Sword?"

"Come on, the guy's lived long enough. Give him a break. Plus, he didn't want that because he's just a plain old bastard."

Lloyd glared at Zelos, once again. "Why am I even talking to _you _about this?"

"Dunno." Zelos stood up. "Look, man, if you want my _honest _opinion," (the expression on Lloyd's face showed that Zelos' opinion was the last thing he wanted), "it's that Kratos is just... a _bastard._ I mean, sure, he cares about you and all, but... he's betrayed you like a bazillion times, and then he came back, _after _you knew you were his son, for what, two weeks? Three weeks tops. Then, he just leaves, _for good_, and expects you to be okay with tha-"

"Zelos, just shut up. It's not like you're the expert on good parenting. Your parents abandoned you."

The slight frown on Zelos' face turned into a flat-out scowl. Lloyd opened his mouth to say something, most likely an apology judging by the appalled look on his face, but Zelos spoke before he could.

"Okay, fine. Maybe I'm not the expert on good parenting, maybe my parents were jackasses," Zelos snapped. "But you know what? I don't dwell on it. It's all been said and done, both of them didn't want me to be born. I know I can't change it. That's the problem with you. Even after it's done, even when you can't _do anything _about it... you _still _worry. You can't change things that are unchangeable. So just shut the hell up." Zelos walked briskly towards the door.

Lloyd stood up. "Zelos-"

"Don't even say anything. You know it's true." Zelos paused in the doorway, and turned his head to look over his shoulder so he could look at Lloyd. "You know, I was always a little jealous of you. Your parents loved you."

Then he left.

After a moment, Lloyd gave a loud sigh, and reluctantly sat back down on the bed. Zelos was pissed, that much was obvious. Probably not for long, though. He would probably have calmed down in an hour or two, and that's when Lloyd could apologize... but _still. _Had Zelos really meant what he had said?

Lloyd had never really thought of it until now, but things must've been pretty hard for Zelos, with his whole family neglecting him like that. At least Lloyd had Dirk. In actuality, Zelos had no one, except for possibly Seles. But even Seles was hesitant with showing Zelos she cared about him.

...Was Zelos right about some things being unchangeable? At first, reuniting the worlds seemed to be an impossible task at first, but they'd done it, right? Couldn't that be the same for everything?

Lloyd decided that, in a less harsh way, Zelos was right. Some things couldn't change, some things weren't _supposed_ to be changed. Kratos probably wasn't coming back. Scratch that – Kratos _wasn't _coming back. And yet, finally, Lloyd was okay with that. Kratos had nearly completed everything he wanted to do in life, and Lloyd had his own path to follow. And that was another thing Zelos was right about (Lloyd made a mental note to thank Zelos for helping him out with this later) – even though Kratos had never actually told him, Kratos had loved him. All Kratos wanted was a better, safer world for his son to live in.

"...Don't die before I do, Lloyd... my son..."

He'll never forget those words for as long as he lives.


End file.
